Can Busy Be a Title?

Yet again, life got in the way of the blog. 

I'm not quite sure how all these crafty mom blog women have the time to do this every day. 

Writing is something I enjoy so much, and spending time here, with you, is another thing that warms my heart, but seriously?  Who has the time to do this every day? 

Someone mentioned to me once that I should try to 'monetize' my blog, or something like that.  So I looked into it.  Definitely have to post more than every two weeks.  So too bad, so sad, for now, I won't be making any money off this thing.  Which, to be honest, is just a-okay by me.

We've been busy. 

We found out last week, as many of you already know, that we're having another boy. 
I couldn't be happier. 
When I think of all the joy this little redheaded boy brings me, the thought of two of them just makes my heart swell. 

Besides that, we've been staying really busy. 
Especially at the farm last weekend!

Thomas caught his first fish!

And TOTALLY enjoyed relaxing in the pool

On top of that, I've had a few things going on, from greek life recruitment kicking into gear (yes, I'm still doing it--it's a question I get asked a LOT), and from me starting to do more volunteering with March of Dimes here.  Salt of the earth people, they are, and I'm really excited about the next year and the great work they're doing.  So get ready for some more March for Babies pushing by me in the spring.  Not that I need to push you, as you are all so fantastic already.

Oh, and did I mention where we're going in TWO weeks???

"When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what???'
-Sydney J. Harris

Good Season

BFF and others seem to have their feathers ruffled a bit that I haven't written much on here lately. 

Normally, when that happens, it's a sign of a good season.

And a good season it is, indeed. 

We're laughing, we're playing, we're on the go. 

Work is great. 
Home is better.
And life is good.

So here's a little sampling of what we've been up to lately.

Having a blast at Caroline Elise's birthday party

Getting his face painted at Malik's birthday party

Testing out the big boy underpants

Playing Angry Birds on the ipod

This has been my main pregnancy craving this time around: cheese grits.  Not just plain cheese grits.  But grits with white cheese: preferably extra sharp white cheddar, or parmesan, mixed with a little butter and garlic salt.  Sound disgusting?  Not so much.  I'm talking about almost EVERY morning.  I have zero taste for eggs.  Probably not eating enough meat, as it's not very appealing to me either.  Probably means iron pills are in my future, as they have been the last two times anyway.

At the dentist: best waiting room ever.  It's like a little boy's dream!

We love Dr. Flynt!  This was only T's second time at the dentist, and he let him clean his teeth and do flouride.  After the appointment, he looked at me and said, "Will you tell Doc how good I did?"

Planting new flowers: learning quickly, yet again, that I do not possess any sort of green thumb, green appendage, green anything.  This is day one.  Embarrased to post a Now pic.

We're big into make-believe right now.  Here, we are playing a superhero, complete with cape, earphones, and paper towel cardboard thing as sword.  Probably safe to say we were fighting off a monster, or perhaps the octopus that has taken up residence in our house.  Be careful for that octopus.  Don't worry.  You're safe if you get up on the boat (sofa).

This one is blurry, but one of my favorites over the past month.  Trying on dad's Arkansas hat.  He was so excited that if we pulled it tight enough, it would fit.  Check out that big smile.

Bath Fun: after MONTHS of not being able to get him to stay still to smile, it's like all of a sudden the switch flipped, and he LOVES to say "Cheese!"  Thank Goodness.

Playing at the new Museum of Art's Kids Area.  What's better than free, new, and tons to keep them occupied?

More Museum of Art.  For a kid who loves puzzles, this guy was in absolute heaven here.

More potty training.  It's taking a while, but we're getting there, and making big progress.  Considering we don't have three days at home with both of us working to do the boot camp, it's been slower than we would like.  But he's doing great.  Wearing big boy underpants to school and loving it.  This was, of course, one morning before school.  Mom and Dad trying to get ready = potty time in front of Mickey in our room.  You do what you gotta do.

And last: this SMILE.  Is there anything better?



So you'll forgive me if I've not written much here lately.  As life just gets in the way sometimes.  We've got a lot of exciting things going on around here.  And the baby in my belly is just bumping around and really starting to kick a pretty good bit.  "It" likes the grits the most, I think :-)

Had an appointment this morning (16.5 weeks along), and heard that beautiful heartbeat.  I just don't think there's a sweeter, more sacred sound on this earth.

Next week should (I say that in italics because I'm pretty sure we're having an ultrasound in Maternal Fetal Medicine) be a pretty big announcement week.  There are some advantages to all these check ups in knowing a little earlier than usual. 

If we find out, we'll let you know. 
Thomas seems completely convinced he knows.  I'm talking about there's not a doubt in his mind.

On that note, it's time to get a few things done.

Happy Wednesday.
Love you.
Mean it.

On Worry

Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere. ~Glenn Turner

Ever since people really started reading this blog, I've noticed a theme.  Within myself, and within others.

I don't know what it is about going through something like we went through, with the loss of a baby, but it shakes people to the core.  I think because suddenly, out of nowhere, everyone gets this realization: that if a baby can die, then what, on this sweet, sweet earth, is sacred?  Babies aren't supposed to die.  They're supposed to be our sign that the world still has some sort of sweetness, and goodness, and truth to it.  In fact, my mom had a little piece of art that she hung in her bathroom for years that read:

"A baby is God's way of saying the world should go on."

Last time I went home to my parents' house, I noticed it wasn't hanging in her bathroom anymore.  It was in the closet of the bathroom, tucked away on a little shelf.  I don't know when this happened, and I don't know if it's sitting on that shelf because of what happened with Kathryn, but I can't blame her in the least bit if it is.

Because it's just one of those things that just completely rock your sense of good and bad, of right and wrong, and of what's SUPPOSED to be.

So through the last year and a half, I've found that many, many people are opening up to me, and sharing with me.  Perhaps because they know that I get it.  I might not get the exact occasion of their worry, and of their sadness.  But I get the underlying fear.  I've received letters, phone calls, and many an email and message from people, all with different worries: infertility, miscarriage, job loss, marriage problems, questions over what they're doing with their lives....

And every message, every confidant, has the same theme:

We are worrying our lives away. 

Over things that we have ZERO control over.  In fact, I've learned this lesson more than anything else: Even things I think I have control over, I DON'T.  So I might as well let it all go.

I can't quite explain to you the freedom that comes in that.  The freedom that comes in saying, "You know what?  I don't understand this at all.  I don't understand WHY this is an issue in my life.  But WORRY, gets me nowhere.  So I'm giving it over.  To my God.  To someone and something so much bigger than myself, that I just don't have to fret.  That I can fall asleep at night, knowing that I'm just here, and it's all out of my hands." 

When Thomas was born, I had a lot of anxiety over him going to sleep at night.  I attribute alot of that to how media does as much as they can to just completely FREAK new moms out about the possibility of SIDS in every single way. 

So I developed a little prayer. 

"God, I can't be there for him all the time, but you can, so help me let it go."

And you know what?  You change that wording a little bit, and this prayer just works for everything.

I know I've talked alot about the serenity prayer before, but that's because there's a reason. 

Letting go of the worry, of the control, well, it's really the best thing to happen to me in the last year. 

Even now, as I'm already starting to feel this little bean bump around inside me, and as there are some unanswered questions at work I'm waiting on, and as we are trying to save for a new house, and as we continue to raise this awesome boy as he's deep in the throes of his terrible twos, I just have to say, the peace you feel when you say, "Well, we'll see.  It's out of my hands," I just can't tell you how freeing it is. 

Maybe it's the lazy girl's answer to wanting to be in control of everything and knowing it's not possible.  But whatever it is, it's working.

Worry doesn't do anything.

It only makes us paralyzed.

I read these letters, these messages from people, and my heart HURTS for each fear, each situation.  And I wish, like I'm sure others do, that I could take it all away.

But there's nothing to take the situation away, but time. 

And if that's the case, then worrying, well, it's just nothing but pointless.



THREE

Stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God.
Job 37:14

3 days after Kathryn's birthday, on May 16th, we got a gift.

We're having another baby.

Just like that.

Another little miracle.  A sweet and precious #3. 

A baby that we do not take for granted. 

THREE.

When I was pregnant with Kathryn, near the end of my pregnancy, I told BT there would be no way I could put myself through it again. 

No way. 

In fact, I was supposed to have my tubes tied after Kathryn.  But we decided, with my doctor's advice, that we should not rush to that decision, as her health was so critical.

Never say never, right?

We gave ourselves about a year before we entertained the thought, even though we were both ready quite some time ago. 

Even though we were ready, we still needed that time. 

Time to heal, time to grieve, and time to breathe in, breathe out. 

Like a new friend I've met along this way says, "One sacred breath at a time."

And now, it's a beautiful little baby. 

I'm twelve and a half weeks along, due late January.

And on June 11, a bittersweet day (as it was Kathryn's due date), we got the 'sweet' in that bittersweet. 

The first ultrasound....
Our first little glimpse at God's promise:

That life goes on, and in many ways, in every other way than the way in which we planned.

After that first ultrasound, we decided to keep it a little mum.  Not totally mum.  But not "blog/facebook public" yet.  We know that even now, before you have known, many of you have been praying for us, and for this child. 

I think it's safe to say that this baby is quite possibly the most anticipated,
prayed for baby in a long, long time. 

That this baby, is EVERYBODY'S baby.

And as we've told our parents, our grandparents, our siblings, and our close friends over the past couple of months, I've felt the healing in their voice, and I've seen the healing in their eyes.  Even now, this little, perfect tiny miracle of a baby is helping us heal....

And so far, so good.  Today's appointment showed a healthy, bouncing baby, measuring 13 weeks, 1 day, with a heartbeat of 160 beats per minute.  We did get a gender guess, of which she said she was "pretty positive," but we're going to keep that to ourselves for now until we confirm it next month :-)

Again.
We're doing it again.

Who would have thunk it.

So now, MANY prayers are requested, appreciated, and embraced as we enter the world of the highest of high risk pregnancies: those who have lost a baby before.  From outside my exam room at my first appointment, I heard muffled words, and then:

"the woman who lost the non-immune hydrops baby last year...."

Suddenly, there is no screening that is "optional," and everything will be watched, observed, and carefully handled.  My doctor is so wonderful.  You should have seen the smile on her face. 

I am in the best of hands.

In fact, I already have high resolution/targeted ultrasounds planned all the way into OCTOBER.

This momma is doing good so far.  When I got that positive test, I just emotionally and mentally went into my 'safe space.' 

I'm hunkering down, and I feel at peace, as long as I don't let THE question enter my mind. 

I've said it before HERE, and I'll say it again:

"The what ifs, they'll eat you alive if you let them..."

So I'm choosing not to have ANY part of the what ifs.  When I feel them creeping in, I've got a saying I keep repeating in my head, in the thickest of southern drawls, channeling M'Lynn, Truvy, Ouiser, and Clairee with all my might.

"You can GO AWAY.  Cause I ain't buyin' what you're sellin."

And it seems to be working....

It's going to be hard for me not to over analyze everything that might not be 'textbook,' but I just have to remind myself that hunkering down is something I know how to do, and that patience and trust is something God likes to work on with me on a continual basis, apparently.

But I'll be honest. 

It's really hard not to think that this little bean wouldn't be here if my other child had lived. 

That's a lot to take in. 

A LOT.

But I have to let that go, to not hold on to that right now, and set it free.

The art of letting go.

It really is an art, isn't it? 

God, grant me the serenity...

Amen.

AMEN.

Beach, Fourth, & Family Love

Oh, to be back at the beach....

Is it too soon to already be planning another getaway?

Lucky for us, my parents have already booked the condo for next year's Fourth of July week, and I could NOT be happier about this development.  On another note, they've also mentioned they  might keep Thomas in August should we find a little getaway for BT's birthday, so we're working on that as we speak too. 

The beach was, shall we say, simply lovely.

We slept.  A lot. 
We ate.  A lot. 
We beached.  A lot.

I don't know when I have seen my parents that relaxed in a long time.  Those two work hard.  Very hard.  Quite possibly harder than anyone I know.  They both love their jobs, love their home, their busy schedules, and so for two people that are in a constant state of MOTION, I really was not very sure how exactly they would take to the nothingness (which is, for me, quite second nature). 

Well, they managed just fine.  In fact, they thrived.  My mom managed to read three books.  My dad finished a 1,000 page book.  They hung out in the condo, on the balcony, and on the rarest of occasions, made it down to the beach.

So while they redefined 'relax,' me, BT, Thomas, and Myles had a big, big time. 

Panorama of little T on the Beach

Working on his sand art.  Not castles.  Birthday Cakes :)

Mom & Dad out by the Grills

"More Watermelon, Please!"

I love this picture

Doc & T out on the Beach

T, proud of his new "monkeys in a barrell," the generic form of the popular toy :)

In his new cap, and in his turtle ring

Baby Toes are the BEST toes

Happy Beach Boy

Thomas & his Uncle Myles

Loving the pool time

Getting Buried in the Sand

My Best Guy

Playing Guitar with Uncle Myles

Singing and dancing.  They did this almost every night

First Arcade Driving Game on a rainy day

Out by the grill

Sparklers on the Fourth

At Cosmo's: our last night

Family Pic

So thanks, mom and dad, for a FANTASTIC week. 
We loved every second.

I can't believe it's July already.

To say there's been alot going on in the last couple of months is an understatement. 

And it's all just very, very good :-)

Father's Day Weekend (along with MANY hyperlinks)

We had a great Father's Day weekend, complete with Gigi, Doc, and Gramps!  Everyone got to see the new house, and Thomas got in some great playtime with the grandparents, which is always one of his favorite things to do.

In fact, on Friday morning, I went into his room to get him up, and said, "Thomas, Gigi and Doc are coming today after school!" 

That kid hopped up like his butt was on fire.  He was so pumped.  Immediately, he said, "I'm gonna show Gigi/Doc my new room!"  (side note---I simply LOVE how Thomas refers to them as one entity.  It's never Gigi AND Doc--always GigiDoc. :)

So you can imagine how thrilled he was when Gigi/Doc came with me to pick him up from school Friday afternoon.  This was, of course, after I had a little alone time with my mommy and daddy, outside of them having to be Gigi/Doc.  We went ot lunch at Olexa's, complete with warm vanilla wedding cake topped with chocolate ganache...oh my. 

Then after lunch, I took them to check out the house, and then they made my day by saying our housewarming present was ...  WAIT FOR IT: a trip to Target.

Best. Ever.

So while dad found a comfy recliner in the Target furniture section to relax in, mom and I picked out some great little treats for the house.   A fun new rug for T's room, and a new rug for the playroom, and on top of that curtains and a rod for the playroom to cover up what we're using as our makeshift attic space.  And I just think it looks fantastic.

So thanks mom & dad.  Quite the little treat.

After we picked up T, we went and met BT for dinner after he got off work at Village Tavern.  Another great spot, great service, and you would have thought the four adults were on a standard cruise ship meal plan, as all our plates looked the same: steak and mashed taters.  Maybe we should all check our iron levels soon....

Saturday started off with breakfast at Homewood Diner.  Have you guys been here yet?  I have to tell you, because it would really be a disservice not to tell you: they have the BEST cinammon rolls I have EVER put in my mouth.  For serious.  In every way.  This is sort of becoming our new favorite go-to little hometown place.  We are loving it.  Great food for great prices in a great little atmosphere. 

Can you sense a theme so far? 

Father's Day Weekend theme was apparently EATING.

After breakfast, we went over to Railroad Park for a little bit before we hit up the new Dora & Diego exhibit at McWane Center.  OH MY GOODNESS.  I didn't think we were going to be able to get Thomas out of there.  It was like watching a crack addict who hadn't been with the good stuff in a long time.  The kid went nuts.  In fact, after we finally pulled him off the Dora and Diego floor, we had to go back up there one more time before we left. 

T @ the Diego/Dora Exhibit

So my parents headed back home after McWane, and after nap, we hit the Freshworks festival up for a little bit.  That's where T discovered his (and mine too) love for the newest craze: Steel City Pops.   Oh my.  In case you were wondering, they really are as good as they say.  I recommend the strawberry. 

After that is when the shopping and prepping began.  I sent BT to the grocery store to get the food while I took T to get BT's father's day stuff. 

I have to admit.  I did a little Pinterest thing.  I can't believe I have caved to Pinterest.  But I did.  So oh well.  I have to acknowlege it, and just move on .  There.  It's out. 

How cute did THIS turn out?!

I'll leave it up to your imagination what label is behind the homemade sticker :-)

So to say I was ready to fall asleep on my face about 7pm Saturday night is an understatement.  Of course, I couldn't, because I had to make the dough for the pie crust.  But more on that in a second.

Sunday morning, my alarm went off at 5:45, and the Father's Day Feast prep began.  I got inspired this year by none other than the Pioneer Woman herself.  In fact, I picked the recipes I used of hers after I watched her food network show. 

And I need to tell you to do something: GO MAKE THESE RIGHT AWAY.

Father's Day Feast included her Spicy Pop Pulled Pork, sauteed green beans, tasty rolls, baked potatoes, and for desert, her Flat Apple Pies with perfect pie crust (and the pie crust really was perfect, and EASY AS PIE, pun intended). 

In fact, both recipes of hers were SO easy, that I'm sort of embarrased to say that's what they were.  But I guess it works in my favor, and it'll work in yours too.  Because both taste like you slaved in the kitchen for hours.  In fact, aside from the little bit of prep time involved (I made the dough the night before and stored it in ziploc bags, then rolled it out the next day), the food essentially cooks itself.  Especially the pork.

Now remember this if you make the pork (which  you should): it does have a bit of a kick to it.  I mean, it marinates for six hours in chipotle peppers.  But from someone who likes spicy, but not too spicy,  I can tell you it's actually the perfect combo of sweet and spicy, thanks to the brown sugar.  Just make sure you remove the chipotles before serving. 

I never took a picture of the pork.  But I can tell you it went really fast. 

But this is how my pies turned out. 
I can tell you they were good because BT ate off it for the two days following that!

So Gramps and BT had quite the feast that day.  Thomas preferred the pie over the rest.  Of course, who doesn't?

On another note, I've ordered my (very) early Christmas present.  A new camera, which I'm super excited about.  I wanted to go ahead and get it for our trips this summer.  Beach & Disney are both coming up very soon.   Can I just say: I am SO excited to spend an entire week at the beach.  It'll be me, BT, Thomas, my parents, and my brother. 

And even better: fireworks at the beach for the Fourth. 

It's been a long time since I've gotten to see those fireworks in the sky over the water....

Just somethin' about it.

Yes, y'all, it's a very GOOD year. 

Home

After closing on our house, and living like gypsies, we are finally moved in. 

It feels good.

Now we're getting used to life in a little cottage. 

It's not particularly smaller than our last house, but we have lost an attic and a garage basement, which means we've lost a good bit of storage space. 

So we're learning to minimalize, and to actually only save what we find actually memorable, not junk.

Even though, that still equates to about ten tubs' worth of stuff all piled into a giant closet in the sunroom.

It's not perfect yet, but it's getting there. 

I'm really loving it so far. 

I'm loving my five minute commute to work even more. 

Our neighbors are great, the neighborhood is better, and we're digging how close we are to the park, to the church we've been visiting, to shops and restaurants, and to everything.  It really is quite livable. 

We dig it.

Can't say with certainty how long we'll be able to stay here before running out of room, but that's okay, and for now, well, we can just make do. 

It's all about simplifying, right?
About not sweatin' the small stuff, literally.

My favorite part about the new house: the gas stove. 
Hands down.
Best ever.
I'm so glad I can finally cook with some gas.

My least favorite: the high efficiency front loading washer and dryer.
Who invented these things?
They trap moisture like a champ, and it's absolute hell on your back getting clothes out of that washer and moving it to the dryer.

Maybe I'm stuck in my ways, but I just like the good, old school, top loading W&D. 
Oh well, that I can get over. 
First world problem, for sure.

Outside

He picked out his new room by strategically bringing his crayons and play-doh box in there.

Pre-Furniture

Guess who this bathroom belongs to?

This kid LOVES his new room

Unpacking stage

At "the new park"

Lovin' me some built in bookshelves

First meal, cookin' with gas

So we are settled in. 
Since we're renting, who knows if we'll be here for a year, or for longer.
That's yet to be determined, and we're in no huge rush. 

For now, we're home.