I've been feeling a little beat up these days. A little sorry for myself, and a lot uncomfortable. I'm not asking for sympathy, because I'm trying not to give myself much right now anyway. I had a good Mother's Day realization today.
This isn't about me.
It's helped for me to do some good soul searching this weekend, to have really quality time with my husband, son, and family.
Mainly I've been beating myself up over what my body is going to be like after this. Recovering from a c-section is hard enough. Recovering from an experience that has stretched my body to its limits is an entirely different scenario. I can think of only one of my blog readers I know that can relate to this. I'm really nervous about the flabby stomach that's going to come after this. As selfish as this sounds, it's a real fear of mine, and one that I'm having to move past. Not like I've EVER had rock hard abs or some super figure, but I've always been happy with what I've had. I'm afraid I'm not going to be happy with it anymore, and as self-centered as this is, if I'm honest with myself, it's a real feeling.
Which is why I was SO glad to find THIS yesterday.
BT makes fun of all of my world wide interweb searching :-) but at certain times it pays off. It helped me put things in much needed perspective, knowing that my scars, and whatever flabby abs may ensue, for however long or short term they are, are battle wounds much earned, and I'm not going to be ashamed of that. It helped me to come to that realization on THIS DAY as well.
Speaking of moms, I definitely have one that's top notch, and am so grateful God chose us for each other. We are also missing one terribly that left us three months ago today. This is BT's first mother's day without Kathy and we tried to talk about her alot today.
I'm also extremely grateful to be a mom today, to Thomas, and to this busy, active baby in my belly. No matter what happens in the near future, to me, right now, she is absolute perfection.
3 comments:
Mary Michael,
You amaze me with every post! I continue to pray for you, BT, Thomas and baby Kathryn here is Norcross. Who cares what your belly looks like in the end when you have a precious baby girl to occupy your time? You will continue to be the beautiful woman I've always known. Hang in there. You're on the home stretch! Love you!
Ellen
I love how honest you are on your blog and how GREAT is that web site. I LOVE it. I never thought I would be one for plastic surgery, but after having this second kid, I can see why people do it! I am so proud of you and how far you've come!
Girl, I can totally relate!! My belly was stretched to it's absolute limits also, & it ain't pretty anymore!! lol Even after I lose my "baby weight", "twin skin", whatever they want to call it, I will still have the saggy belly. So do what I've done & start your tummy tuck money jar now! ;) seriously though... Like Ellen said, it IS worth it when you're holding your precious baby in your arms. Thinking about you girl... You AND Kathryn are going to be just fine.
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