I realized I haven't shared many pictures here on the blog.
Probably because I'm just now getting around to really looking at them.
So here's a sampling, from the early ones to the end. I know you'll understand that there are many pictures of our last night with Kathryn that we are going to keep to ourselves and our family. But I would like to at least share one.
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| October 4, 2010: Positive Pregnancy Test: BIG SURPRISE |
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| Christmas 2010: about 16 weeks pregnant: BT, Thomas, Me, & Kathryn in the belly |
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| 20 Week Ultrasound: Fluid measured a little high but evened out two weeks later |
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| February 26, 2011 |
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| March 12, 2011: Sent this to Cheryl, wondering how on earth I had three months left. |
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| 31 weeks, 3 days. The day they diagnosed the Hydrops. |
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| April 17th, 5 days after Polyhydramnios/Hydrops Diagnosis |
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| April 26, 2011: We could start to see Kathryn's edema here |
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| April 30, 2011 |
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| May 5, 2011 |
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| May 8, 2011: 35 Weeks Pregnant and 3 days before I was admitted to the hospital |
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| Amniotic Fluid Reduction on May 11, 2011 |
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| 2.5 Liters of Fluid. They were going to drain another 2.5 liters on Thursday the 12th but I told them NO WAY. It was the most physically painful part of the entire process. |
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| Kathryn right after birth. You can see how much smaller she is. |
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| Me & Kathryn holding hands |
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| Mom, Dad, & Kathryn |
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| Thomas & his baby sister |
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| Our last night with Kathryn about an hour before she passed away |
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| Holding our baby girl for the first time |
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| Feet just like her brother's |
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| Kathryn's Red Balloons |
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| Sayin' bye to his sister |
Believe me, it took a lot for me to decide to put these pictures up here for all the world to see. But you shared in all of this with us, and you deserve to be a part of the pictures. The rest, we'll keep to ourselves. But I am not at all ashamed of how big I got, because it was all part of the process.
Now, I find, the process even tougher, as I am looked at as that mom that lost her baby. I can see the sympathy in people's eyes even when the try to hide it. TRUST ME: it's much more awkward for you than me. I live with it 24 hours a day. I wish I could tell people to have zero sympathy, for we are blessed beyond measure.
And now we gear up for the summer of babies, as MANY of our friends are expecting in the next few months. I've had quite a few people ask me if I'm going to attend showers, etc.
Let me be clear:
My sorrow does not trump their joy.
Will it be difficult? Yes. But it may have been even more difficult if we didn't already have Thomas and know the unbelievable joy and happiness that comes from the gift of a child.
Even a gift that only lasts 12 days.
3 comments:
Can I just say that you are awesome? Thank you so much for sharing Kathryn with the world and for continuing to let her story minister to us.
Thanks for sharing your journey. Your have always been so amazingly strong on the outside..with such a soft inside....you use the lose to show how God power is so strong.
Your strength amazes me. Thanks for sharing. Love you.
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