purchases, fun, and thoughts

I bought a car. 

Did I mention that?  I think it's pretty sweet.  We wanted something with better mileage, and I wanted something with no memories of driving back and forth to doctors' appointments and hospital visits.  But the seat belt alarm on the old car was enough of a reason to get rid of it.  It was seriously the most annoying sound on the planet, and I was really tired of buckling in my purse.

So here it is!

I know everyone says you're not supposed to make a major purchase after something like this, but in my defense, we've been talking about getting a newer car with better mileage for a while, and this one totally fits the bill. 

I also realize I've sort of neglected Mr. T in all of this because I've been so wrapped up in my own thoughts.  No worries, I'm sure in no time he'll be back at the forefront of it all on the blog.  But rest assured, he is perfectly fine and having a fantastic summer so far.  In fact, he's probably getting more spoiled now than ever, as evidenced by the terrible two tantrums he's really kicking up a notch.  So for those of you that want a Thomas update, here's what he's been up to lately:

Gettin' his hair cut: and it's already time for another one!

Going to Kathryn's Memorial

Chowin' down on ketchup and fries at Johnny Rocket's

Checkin' out the giraffes at the zoo

Eatin' muffins at the zoo

STAYING COOL IN THIS HEAT!

So no worries about the Mr. T.  He's having a blast of a summer, and even got in a full weekend with his gramps last weekend, and has quite a busy summer planned with a GG and Doc visit too. 

I am so grateful for Thomas.  For the blessing that he is to us, for his smile, for the distraction he serves, even if it's through terrible two tantrums, and I wonder how on earth we made such a funny little kid!  I honestly don't know if I could get through all of this without him. 

I looked at his toes last night and it brought a tear to my eye because I started thinking about how much his and Kathryn's toes look alike.  In my mind, they'll always have that in common. 

It also made me think about things from his perspective: what it's going to be like growing up, knowing that you had a sister that didn't make it and wondering about that sister forever.  I really hope we can provide a memory for him in his head and heart that lessens the void.  I am also relieved that we chose to take Thomas to see Kathryn the Saturday before she died.  We'll have those pictures and memories for him forever now. 

I can't imagine losing a sibling, let alone one you never remember....

But we keep on truckin, because that's what you do. 

I am writing a letter to Kathryn in my head, as I prepare myself for this Saturday, June 11th:

My due date. 

I can't wait to get it on paper.

Hugs.